Have You Commited Adultery?

After my post yesterday and the leak of Ashley Madison accounts I think it is appropriate to post this. 

Have you let temptation overtake your marriage? Have you had an affair? If so its not too late for your marriage. There are things you need to do right now to rectify the situation and minimize any more damage. You might be saying I have not been caught. That does not matter. Go ahead and come clean now. 

Admit to God

This is the first thing you must do. It is also the most important thing you can do. The bible is clear that we all have sinned and fallen short of God’s standards. The great news is that he has provided payment from our sins. Jesus died for our sins. We need to ask God for forgiveness. 

It’s not only important to ask for forgiveness but we have to repent. That means you have to turn from sin. If all you do is ask for forgiveness but continue in this activity the rest of this advice will do you no good. 

Admit to your spouse

Alright this will be the hardest part. There will be serious repercussions. Your spouse will be upset. Your spouse might even leave you, hopefully this will not happen. The goal is to work through the hurt and repair the relationship. 

Just like when you admit to God you have to repent. If you ask for forgiveness and do it again you were not sorry. You are only sorry if you don’t do it again. 

Seek forgiveness

This should go without saying but in order for relationships to be repaired you have to be forgiven. This is not something that will happen over night. It will take time. It will also take both of you working on it. 

The cheating partner must seek forgiveness. Your spouse will be hesitant at first. Trust takes a long time to build and even longer to repair. Be patient with your spouse. Love on them and let them know they are valued. 

The other spouse needs to forgive. I can only imagine the pain of this and how hard it would be to forgive. If your partner is sincerely sorry work with them. Do not work against them. Work the problem out. Start offering a little forgiveness. Hopefully things will become easier as time goes on. 

Get away from this type of stuff

You have done it once and you are likely to do it again unless you take steps to get away from temptation.  The most important thing is to spend time with your spouse. Spend as much time as possible. This will allow you to study your spouse and fall in love again. If you are spending time together you have no time to be with someone else. 

Next look at what got you in the affair. Was it someone you work closely with at work? If so do not work with this person anymore. In certain situations it may be appropriate to leave the company. What’s more important your marriage or a job?

Where you on a dating website? Get off of those immediately. Make sure your spouse has all accounts and passwords. Allow your spouse to put a block on adult websites. If you continue to get on these websites you are never going to be trusted or forgiven. 

The main thing is to RUN away from anything that will make you cheat on your spouse. 

Repair relationships

This is not the time for a divorce attorney. Let me repeat this, an attorney should not be your first option. Marriage counseling should be your first option. If you do not know of one see your pastor. He might be gifted at counseling. He might also be connected to a great Christian counselor. Counseling will only work if both parties are committed. If not it will be a waste of time. 

Really work on it. You might have to date your spouse again. In all honesty we should never stop dating our spouse. Repairs to a marriage are going to take prayer, love, and forgiveness. It will not happen over night. 

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